Adolescent is one of the most difficult stages of life, this is the time when a child goes through a massive emotional roller coaster, and often loses his/her balance, if there is no proper guidance. Jonathan Lauter MD an ace child and adolescent psychiatrist from New York helps understand the psychology of children of this age group and gives guidelines to the parents of these children as to how they should behave with them, to get maximum productivity and minimum rebellion.
This part of life becomes even more difficult to face because of the numerous biological and physical changes that occur within the body. Although majority of the adolescents are able to evolve out of this metamorphosed condition of theirs in a pretty much decent way, there are a few who are at constant battle with themselves, to be able to accept the changes in their looks and behavior, and this is perhaps the primary reason why they start behaving ‘weirdly’ or according to the parents so adamantly.
According to Jonathan Lauter MD, studies and researches have revealed that approximately 80% of the adolescents are able to make through this transition smoothly, but the problem is with the remaining 20 %. Most of the adolescents belonging to the second category often face problems within the family, have bad and broken relationships, feel too pressurized by studies and of course go through a plethora of depression.
A lot or rather almost all parents are not able to accept the “I don’t care” attitude of these adolescents and end up revolting their behavior. The children of this age in turn revolt back and become rebels. What the parents need to understand at this point is that, just like you held their hands to support them when they took their first step as an infant, they still require your support to go through the new and undiscovered phases of their lives. This is not a time when you should become their opponent, instead it is a time when you have to win their confidence and be by their side just as a friend.
It won’t be a difficult thing to understand once; you as a parent go back and recollect your own adolescent phase. You too must surely have gone through a trouble in accepting all that your parents said were good for you. All you need to do is get into the shoes of your adolescent kid and you will in no time be able to identify with him and perhaps deal with him in a more patient way.
So, the key to building a healthy relationship with your growing up adolescent child, is patience; and if you can couple that with a little bit of understanding and space then there is nothing like it. Always remember, the moment they feel that they are being accepted with open arms, even in their new avatar, they will no longer have any reason to go against you or the social norms, if that is what bothers you the most. Make them believe that their hormonal changes have not brought any changes in your love for them.